Know yourself by wearing a mask

Learning about emotional intelligence has indeed afforded me a lot of perspective on life, perhaps one of the most important pillars is the part revolving around self knowledge, how much do we really know about ourselves, our emotional patterns, how often are we on auto pilot, subconsciously doing things without pausing to think if there is a room to change that pattern or understanding the underlying schemas behind it. One of the concepts we take in an emotional intelligence course is that of the mask, that as humans we wear different masks at different times, building different emotional patterns at different intervals, and the trick is that if you open yourself up to the concept, then it can have a profound effect on discovering who you are and why you act in certain ways with certain people and how this affects your integrity and relationships with others.

An interesting example was watching a movie called “Never Been Kissed”( yes it is a chick flick and somehow has more insights than die hard 4.0) ,  a reporter who disguises as a teenage high school, to write about the issues in high school, only to find herself drawn to the story that she does not want to write about, hers. How she was oppressed in school by other kids, despite being a talented young girl, she was not accepted by the popular group, the story of millions of kids seeking acceptance. She decides that the disguise will help her redeem herself, let her relive the experience differently, be popular, so she does that, and risks losing the true friends who accepted her for who she is, and her English teacher, the only class she loved back in high school and  during her under cover assignment. Eventually the mask, or the disguise she puts helps her find out who she is and that she does not need to hide or shy away from it, that what she made for herself is worth being proud and she takes it upon herself to help many people realize that.  I remembered the mask part that we took, and how uncomfortable I was with the idea of a mask, then when I saw the movie, I thought that maybe sometimes you need to go behind a mask to understand yourself better, that maybe it helps see yourself better, as ironic as that may sound. When you are behind a mask your focus is on this character you are wearing, and as you go on playing that role, you become less self critical and more indulged in the character you are doing, and as you take that journey as someone else, you start to know what you are not, and what truly matters to the real you!

So think of all your relationships and the masks you wear, the compromises you do, and ask yourself, is that what you want, is that who you really are? And if the answer is yes, then it is not a mask but if it is a no, then it is about time you took it off!