Eclipse of the total heart

When thinking of beacons who have had a great impact on the history of mankind, I could think of many great leaders, two of interest are Ghandi and Mandela, both for some reason had bases in South Africa and of whom I am very fond of and look up to.I am not going to dwell on the achievements of either, there is plenty of literature on these two men, I am rather interested in another aspect of these two men’s lives, and that is their relation with their family. Both men have had a big strife with their family members, ghandi with his son and Mandela with his wife and daughter for some time. It puzzles me how such great men who influenced millions, could not make amends with their family. What was it that caused this rift? While this topic could be a research topic on its own, my mind wanders seeking some answers on this. The easy answer could be that they were too busy serving a big cause that they meanwhile forgot their family, but this sounds too simple and naïve for such great leaders.

While watching a full moon the other day, an idea came to my mind. The moon is an incredible item in our lives. It is a beacon for many, the most obvious are sailors and shipmen, but it also affects many of us laymen and women. Artists use it a lot in their work, poets get inspired by it, photographers are fascinated by it, the moon goes into transformations and represents change, nurturing, harvest and beauty. It is a beacon that guides us through the darkness in life, unlike the sun, the moon shines in an all dark environment. The sun on the other hand, is an element with a very specific purpose, light up our day, the sun does not have to fight the darkness, when present there is only light, the sun is constant, does not go into transformation, does not cause ebbs and flows, it is dedicated to provide us with light, like a parent. The moon is more like us, or what we want to be, be a source of light in the darkness, shed light on other stars, transform and change, overcome challenges and come out again stronger and brighter, it is a collective icon for us and has been instrumental in many cultures and religions. While the sun is much larger, it is not a source of inspiration for many artists, many of the pictures you see are either for a sunrise or a sunset, ie when it is actually moving or in contact with another surface, going into a sea, or rising behind a mountain. We all need the sun but look up to the moon for inspiration, there is a little bit of the moon in each of us, the cycle of the moon is synonymous to the cycle of life we go through.

What I came to realize is that when you are a moon, a guiding light, a leader maybe you can’t be a sun, for those don’t meet. Those who love you should accept that and not expect you to be a sun only for them, and rather than asking for an eclipse, let the moon outshine on all those seeking inspiration and direction, and maybe, just maybe Ghandi and Mandela‘s family members were asking two moons to be dwarfed into a sun..

Know yourself by wearing a mask

Learning about emotional intelligence has indeed afforded me a lot of perspective on life, perhaps one of the most important pillars is the part revolving around self knowledge, how much do we really know about ourselves, our emotional patterns, how often are we on auto pilot, subconsciously doing things without pausing to think if there is a room to change that pattern or understanding the underlying schemas behind it. One of the concepts we take in an emotional intelligence course is that of the mask, that as humans we wear different masks at different times, building different emotional patterns at different intervals, and the trick is that if you open yourself up to the concept, then it can have a profound effect on discovering who you are and why you act in certain ways with certain people and how this affects your integrity and relationships with others.

An interesting example was watching a movie called “Never Been Kissed”( yes it is a chick flick and somehow has more insights than die hard 4.0) ,  a reporter who disguises as a teenage high school, to write about the issues in high school, only to find herself drawn to the story that she does not want to write about, hers. How she was oppressed in school by other kids, despite being a talented young girl, she was not accepted by the popular group, the story of millions of kids seeking acceptance. She decides that the disguise will help her redeem herself, let her relive the experience differently, be popular, so she does that, and risks losing the true friends who accepted her for who she is, and her English teacher, the only class she loved back in high school and  during her under cover assignment. Eventually the mask, or the disguise she puts helps her find out who she is and that she does not need to hide or shy away from it, that what she made for herself is worth being proud and she takes it upon herself to help many people realize that.  I remembered the mask part that we took, and how uncomfortable I was with the idea of a mask, then when I saw the movie, I thought that maybe sometimes you need to go behind a mask to understand yourself better, that maybe it helps see yourself better, as ironic as that may sound. When you are behind a mask your focus is on this character you are wearing, and as you go on playing that role, you become less self critical and more indulged in the character you are doing, and as you take that journey as someone else, you start to know what you are not, and what truly matters to the real you!

So think of all your relationships and the masks you wear, the compromises you do, and ask yourself, is that what you want, is that who you really are? And if the answer is yes, then it is not a mask but if it is a no, then it is about time you took it off!

Paddling into my dreamality

while this sounds like a strange title for a blog, it was my creation to reflect on how I lead my life, and I will tell you how in a second but let us look first at the components of the title

Paddling or using a paddle is the act of using a short, flat bladed oar for propelling and steering a canoe or small boat, usually held by both hands and moved more or less through a vertical arc. A very interesting analogy of how we move in the river of life to get us to the sea of opportunities and challenges. It is interesting that many people think of paddling as an act related to feet, but it is not. Paddling or rowing is about the hands, and come to think of it, it is one of the few activities that you use to move using your hands, not feet. This means defying conventional wisdom, norms, and being a non conformist, one of my key drivers in life. So if you think that the only way to move is using your feet, think again.

Dreamality, when I thought of this word, I thought this was my invention but as I researched it, I found out that it means something in urban dictionary, and here is what I found,” The system of belief that states that what an individual thinks, acts, tastes, feels, sees, does, and perceives collectively, is what is interactively experienced. Simply stating that the whole of existence even down to the quantum level is fully changeable by all the possibilities brought fourth from an individuals imagined awareness. Reality by definition is lie, we all live in a dreamality cooperatively shaping our existence together.”

Wow, this is exactly what I meant by dreamality, we shape our dreams and reality, possible is everything, despite the different obstacles we come across in our rivers.

 To paddle one’s own canoe means to be self sufficient, another key point, everything starts with us, our inner journey is by far the most interesting journey we take, and it colours the scenery outside, not the other way around.

This is the anatomy of my title, an analogy of my hope that I lead my life the same way, combining the act of thinking differently, knowing my self well, and choosing my dreamality to create a legacy, a successful venture.

I am going to use this blog as my paddle to take you with me through my journey and share with you some of the main learnings life has offered me. You will find articles about almost everything, life, death, humour, business, relationships, all  written with all my senses and through my eyes.